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How To Win Friends and Influence People

How To Win Friends and Influence People_1536x1040

Customers don't always buy from people they like.  They ultimately buy from people they trust.  But customers prefer to buy from people they like and trust.  So why not make it easier for the customer to choose you?

The first business book I ever read was How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  I read it again recently, and I was blown away (again) by its simple yet applicable truths.  There is a reason why it's considered one of the best self-help books of all time.  The principles outlined in the book are as applicable today - both in business and personal life - as they were when the book was first published in 1936.

Three fundamental principles for dealing with people:

  1. Be nice. 
    • You have to genuinely care about the other person. Don't criticize or complain. Show empathy.
  2. Find out what the other person wants.
    • Do they want recognition, health, security, money, the feeling of importance, etc.? 
  3. Help people get what they want.
    • Figure out how to give them what you discovered in principle #2.

Six ways to make people like you:

  1. Be genuinely interested in the other person.   Nobody likes a fake.  The key word is “genuine”.
  2. Smile.  People who smile are more approachable and likable.  Try making a habit of it.
  3. Learn peoples' names.  "Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”  Dale Carnegie  
  4. Be a good listener.  Listen to what the other person is saying and give him/her your undivided attention.  Don’t focus on what you are going to say next.
  5. Talk about things that interest the other person.  Ask questions about them and their interests, and then talk about those things.  DON'T talk about yourself!
  6. Make the other person feel important.  Find something you admire about that person, and apply rule #1.  Even if you can't stand someone, you can still find something about them that you admire. 

The key ingredient to successfully applying the principles in Carnegie's book is "genuineness".  Without it, the above principles are just a bunch of sales tricks.

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Barkley Peschel

Barkley Peschel, CCIM
Senior Vice President | Fort Bend
Direct +1 281 242 2300
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