To be fair it was not a great lead up to the TRYathlon for me. Richard Coombs, acknowledged Iron Man guru, had given the office a “drink and diet briefing” the night before the TRYathlon, which involved “NO ALCOHOL”.

The mind was willing, sadly the body was not, as I set off to celebrate my daughter’s birthday with a “few” glasses of red wine the night before…

Copious amounts of water on Thursday morning failed to address the dull thud.

I duly set off in good time or at least I thought I did… the road leading from the A38 to the school was closed. No worries, I knew the area well and undaunted I set off to find a back route to the school (a minor 5 mile detour). Alas, this was closed off too and it transpired that I should have continued down the first closed off road to reach the appointed car parking. The time was now 09:25 and I had yet to register and get changed.

The next trial and tribulation came as I tried to squeeze my delicate frame into the large tri suit I had ordered. I now know what the saying, “his stomach is bigger than his eyes”, means… not a chance and to be fair the extra-large was a struggle as well!

Eventually, we were called to the pool and I climbed in beneath the sturdy frame of David Smeeton (Head of the Birmingham office) and set off at a slow methodical pace. Some 20 minutes later, with just a few others remaining in the first wave, we got the yellow flag from Victoria Patterson to tell us there were only two lengths remaining. Good chap that he is, David waited to give me a big hand out of the pool – just as well  because I would probably still been there now.

Only two legs of my first TRYathlon still to go and at last the headache had gone… only to be replaced by a queasy stomach and the nagging fear about whether someone had managed to find me a cycle helmet so that I would be allowed to continue.

As luck would have it (or not) someone had… and I set off on the 16km saunter uphill and down dale (mostly it was pretty flat but it seemed like uphill and up dale to me). Half way around I spied the good marshals Messrs Ridsdale and Godsmark at the water station just opposite the local pub. I threw them my water bottle in the vain hope that when I returned on the homeward journey they may have filled it with something more appetising than just water… sadly I was disappointed.

Having been overtaken by many other cyclists I eventually got back to the school and began the final leg of my journey. At this point I would like to thank the Local Authority for not adopting the hosepipe ban.

Now who was it that said… “last but not least”? Sadly I was last but given my bulk I am certainly not least!

On behalf of the team at  Colliers International can I thank everyone who helped to organise the splendid event yesterday. My congratulations to everybody who finished in front of me which is, in fact, everybody but especially to the winners…